Just Say “Yes.”

Today is the March equinox, one of two days each year when every location on the planet experiences equal amounts of sunlight. It is also the official first day of Spring, which makes it the perfect day to write about the power of YES.

If there is one thing I've remembered since writing and publishing my debut novel, Back to Blue Holly, it's the power of words, one word in particular—Yes.  

Lately, all I do is ask. I ask people to buy my book, review it, and tell their friends about it. I ask book clubs to pick it up and bookstores to carry it. I pitch to libraries, podcasts, and morning TV. And pre-publication was no different, two years of asking. I asked beta readers, editors, designers, authors, agents, and publishers. The question mark on my keyboard is faded and worn.

I won't bore you with my author journey's rejection stats except to report that “no” may have won in number but has lost by a landslide to “yes” in impact. And that's not because I have Teflon skin. I am as vulnerable as anyone. Rejections look like barren tree branches on a damp Winter day. But the best thing about Winter is that Spring is just around the corner. Nauseatingly optimistic, I know, but once the Spring sunshine warms the face, you know that the YES is worth the determined wait.

Yes is contagious.  I was a "yes" person when I first worked in education and marketing. My answer to most requests was always a perky, "Yep, let me look into it," rather than "No, sorry, just because."  Intuitively, I understood that even if "looking into it" resulted in "no," circling back from the open felt better than shuttering the opportunity from the start. A yes-first mentality can and does change cultures and lives.

Last year, my friend told me it was her year of "yes." She said she would say yes to every invitation possible because life is short, and she was tired of missing out. After six tragi-comic months of querying literary agents, I wanted some yes back in my life, so I joined Jill on her quest for yes, and I'm here to testify that I was immediately happier, as if saying “yes” fortified me.

I researched "no" and "yes" in vernacular, curious about which word is used more and thoughts on which is better to say more often. Some report that "yes" is used more, resulting from societal conflict avoidance. Psychology articles recommend we say “yes” less and "no" more to protect our boundaries. They allow the use of "yes" but strategically. I joined 9.4 million others in finding this series on YouTube called "Yes Theory" which sets out to prove that life's best moments and connections come from accepting experiences outside your comfort zone. Watch a few and you will see few strategic yeses.

If I strategized every "yes," I would miss some special moments like the impromptu lunch break walk with one of my adult kids when I learn new facts about their lives or the unplanned mountain drive with my mom to meet an old friend. Sometimes, saying “yes” interrupts my writing or requires putting on make-up after five. Some yeses take four days out of town and another five for physical recovery, like helping my daughter move apartments in NYC. But it never fails that upon execution of the yes, I am better for it. At best, I learn something new, make new friends, spend precious time with people I love, and enjoy a few laughs. Regardless of the spectrum of rewards, the impact of all my yeses is enduring.

I am a yes person and a yes beneficiary. Since publishing my novel, I'm constantly asking people and places for help, and I respect the physics of "no." Books are published every eight seconds in this country. It's a noisy, congested business. I get it, and believe it or not, but I'm grateful every time a human writes me back to say “no” rather than ghosting me. Remember, each Winter day makes Spring that much better, so when the answer is eventually yes, it's like Glinda the Good has rolled me up into her wand, and together we float over The Land of No and wave. And I will serve her until the end of time.

Lately, the yeses have been on a roll, and I am beyond grateful to all who have answered my calls or emails, connected me with someone they know, or invited me to hang out and share. I am having such a great time.

Here are some of my YES moments in March, a memorable month I dedicate to my friend Mary Jo Moloney who was a yes person through and through.

River and Hill Books in Rome, GA, hosted what felt like Old Home Week with so many childhood friends and family showing up with their friends. I'm still warm from that love.

At The Copper Fox bookstore in Blue Ridge, GA, I loved getting to know so many wonderful people who came out to support me and the store’s first author event. What an honor!

Mariam Addarrat at Lexington Public Library is one of my new YES friends. I'm so happy to have spent time with her on their Turning the Page Podcast. We chatted and giggled, and I read a short passage from the book. I had a great time.

To the book clubs all over the South who invite me to visit remotely or in person, I have loved my time with you, laughing, carrying on, and making these precious connections. Please keep the invitations coming.